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幽默英語名言|名言語錄大全

1、抽,是一種生活藝術;找抽,是一種生活態度。

Smoking is a kind of art of life; looking for smoking is a kind of attitude towards life.

2、隨緣不是得過且過,因循茍且,而是盡人事聽天命。

Successful fate is not muddling along, abiding by meticulous rules, but doing everything possible to obey the destiny of the heavens.

3、對女人不好的男人,下輩子都投胎做衛生巾去!

Men who are not good for women will be reincarnated as sanitary napkins in their next life.

4、不能罵上帝,不讓上帝會帶你去見他。

Don’t scold God, don’t let God take you to see him.

5、說出來的苦是軟弱,埋藏在心裡的苦叫堅強。

The bitterness spoken is weak, and the bitterness buried in the heart is strong.

6、大便的離去,是馬桶的追求,還是屁股的不挽留。

The departure of stool is the pursuit of toilets or the non-retention of buttocks.

7、不求門當戶對,隻求感覺到位。

Do not seek the right door, just feel the right place.

8、成功在暗處看著我們,因為我們為成功而奮鬥。

Success looks at us in the dark, because we strive for success.

9、探索的旅程不在於發現新大陸,而在於培養新視角。

The journey of exploration lies not in discovering the new continent, but in cultivating new perspectives.

10、別跟我談感情,談感情傷錢。

Don’t talk to me about feelings. Feelings hurt money.

11、我以為我很頹廢,今天我才知道,原來我早報廢瞭。

I thought I was decadent. Today I realized that I had scrapped.

12、知識就像內褲,看不見但很重要。

Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

13、讓未來到來,讓過去過去。

Let the future come, let the past pass.

14、最可笑的愛情就是你愛她,還和我在一起。

The most ridiculous love is that you love her and stay with me.

15、英雄難過美人關,我不是英雄,美人讓我過瞭關。

The hero is sorry for the beauty. I am not a hero. The beauty let me pass.

16、不寬恕眾生,不原諒眾生,是苦瞭你自己。

Not forgiving all living beings, not forgiving all living beings, is suffering your own.

17、哥吸煙,是因為它傷肺,不傷心。

Brother smokes because it hurts his lungs and doesn’t hurt.

18、懶惰就像生銹一樣,比操勞更消耗身體。

Laziness, like rust, consumes more body than labour.

19、一個人,一條街,一個角落,一場無聲的哭泣。

A person, a street, a corner, a silent cry.

20、誠心做事容易辦好事;成天想事,鬱鬱不得志。

It’s easy to do good things with sincerity; it’s frustrating to think about things all the time.

21、絕口不提不是因為忘記,而是因為銘記。

Never mention it because of forgetting, but because of remembering.

22、如果夢想沒但是,但是生活沒如果。

If dreams are not, but life is not.

23、聽你講的笑話,我一共哭瞭兩次!

Listening to your jokes, I cried twice in all!

24、從天堂到地獄,哥隻是路過人間。

From heaven to hell, brother just passes through the world.

25、路見不平一聲吼,吼完繼續往前走。

The road saw uneven roar, roar and continue to move forward.

26、不能自拔的,除瞭愛情,還有別人地裡的蘿卜。

Can not extricate themselves, in addition to love, there are other people in the field of radish.

27、那些你狠冒險的夢,我陪你去瘋。

I’ll go crazy with you in your adventurous dreams.

28、狂妄的人有救,自卑的人沒有救。

The arrogant man is saved, the inferior man is not saved.

29、如果下雪不打傘,是不是我們就可以一路走到白頭。

If it doesn’t snowfall without an umbrella, can we go all the way to the white end?

30、女人喜歡長得壞壞的男人,不是喜歡長壞瞭的男人。

Women like bad-looking men, not bad-looking men.

31、別人一誇我,我就擔心,擔心別人誇得不夠。

When others praise me, I worry that others don’t praise me enough.

32、你要是鮮花,以後牛都不敢拉屎瞭。

If you were a flower, cattle would not dare to shit in the future.

33、世界總是一樣的,隻是我們的心情和遭遇不一樣而已。

The world is always the same, but our mood and experience are different.

34、雖然我在認真的忽悠你,但是你要假裝相信我。

Although I’m seriously fooling you, you have to pretend to believe me.

35、勇於接受別人的批評,正好可以調整自己的缺點。

Accepting criticism from others is a good way to adjust one’s own shortcomings.

36、我的眼裡隻有你,不過心裡有別人!

I only have you in my eyes, but someone else in my heart!

37、老板用你的時候你就是人才,不用你的時候就變成裁人!

When the boss uses you, you are a talented person, and when you don’t use you, you become a layoff!

38、我可以選擇放棄,但不能放棄選擇。

I can choose to give up, but I can’t give up.

39、要不是打不過你,早就跟你翻臉瞭。

If I hadn’t beaten you, I would have turned my face with you.

40、識就像內褲,看不見但很重要。

Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

41、我們的愛情在這天夭折瞭,隻為瞭讓彼此有重生的機會。

Our love died on this day just to give each other a chance to rebirth.

42、都說姐漂亮,其實都是妝出來的。

They all say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact they are all made up.

43、人傢怕你,並不是一種福,人傢欺你,並不是一種辱。

It’s not a blessing to be afraid of you. It’s not an insult to be bullied.

44、其實我很宅,隻是宅在誰傢裡的問題。

Actually, I’m very homeless. It’s just a question of who I’m staying at.

45、男人的大腦喜歡女人的內心,但是眼睛喜歡女人的外表。

Men’s brains like women’s hearts, but their eyes like women’s appearance.

46、愛情永遠比婚姻聖潔,婚姻永遠比愛情實惠。

Love is always holier than marriage, and marriage is always more beneficial than love.

47、每個成功的男人背後,都會有一個吃飽瞭沒事做的女人。

Behind every successful man, there will be a woman who is full and has nothing to do.

48、作為失敗的典型,你實在是太成功瞭。

As a model of failure, you are so successful.

49、要不是老師說不能亂扔垃圾,不然偶早把你扔出去。

If it weren’t for the teacher’s advice that you shouldn’t throw rubbish around, you would have been thrown out earlier.

50、別人裝處,我隻好裝經驗豐富。

Others pretend that I have to pretend to be experienced.

51、平時罵你就算瞭,非要等我打你,才知道我文武雙全。

Usually scolding you is enough. I have to wait for me to hit you before I know that I have both civil and military skills.

52、別人都在假裝正經,我隻好假裝不正經。

Others are pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend to be unhealthy.

53、嘆氣是最浪費時間的事情,哭泣是最浪費力氣的行徑。

Sighing is the most time-consuming thing, and crying is the most energy-wasting thing.

54、有些人死瞭很有價值,有些人死瞭他的畫很有價值!

Some people die of great value, some people die of his paintings are of great value!

55、上流社會的人,總喜歡做點下流的事。

People in the upper class always like to do some dirty things.

56、我的優點是我很帥;但是我的缺點是我帥的不明顯。

My advantage is that I am handsome; but my disadvantage is that I am not handsome.

57、你把別人想得太復雜,是因為你也不簡單。

You think too much of others because you are not simple.

58、我建議大傢對我的長相,理解為主,欣賞為輔。

I suggest that you give priority to understanding and appreciation of my appearance.

59、白天我生活在自己的夢裡,晚上我在別人的夢裡!

In the daytime I live in my own dream, in the evening I am in someone else’s dream!

60、這個世界本來就是痛苦的,沒有例外的。

The world is painful, without exception.

61、人生有時就像電腦,說死機就死機,沒得商量。

Sometimes life is like a computer, saying that when the machine crashes, it will crash without discussion.